The refried beans recipe on the back of the Goya pinto beans can: heat lard or oil, mash beans, combine, stir until the liquid mostly evaporates (i.e. the mixture goes from soupy to creamy), simmer. Maybe add garlic and/or onion if desired.
I did not have lard ("so use vegetable oil"? surely you're joking), so I did the next worst thing: two strips of bacon that conveniently gave me just as much delicious rendered bacon fat as I would have needed lard. You can probably see where this is going: make the beans as otherwise directed and eat the crispy bacon as an appetizer. Fuck yes.
As a bonus, I didn't have to add any salt (though I did add cotija, which is salty on its own).
Recommended for all situations in which bacon is available but rendered lard is not. Not recommended when entertaining guests who keep kosher, especially when cheese is sprinkled atop the beans.
Most importantly, this is a really good, easy way to make refried beans. Probably not as creamy as if I'd cooked dried beans for hours and hours, but vastly superior to any canned refried beans I've eaten. Too bad it took me all this time to realize it.